by Patrick S., historic co-roker of Val in Japan & employee of Nintendo.
Karaoke is an art form, and art is the pursuit of perfection within a framework of accepted limitations. Van Gogh could but rail against the definition of his brush-strokes. Beethoven was limited to the range of melody accepted by the human ear. So, too, will your karaoke sessions rub up against the inevitable wall that defines all artists.
I propose to reflect on my own mistakes, that you might learn from them and achieve something close to karaoke perfection. Some might call this effort noble. I merely wish to stand amongst you brave ‘rokers and say: “I sang. I drank. I passed the mic, and I entered the numbers. And I never looked back.”
Karaoke Mistake No. 1: “Nice Chorus, Shame About the Verse”
Beware of songs that you think you know, but really you know as well as the next club- or bar-goer. These are the numbers on the playing of which, everyone rushes to fill the dance floor or, or everyone chimes in on at a bar, but really, no one knows any lyrics except for the chorus. Especially after the few drinks that are standard in a karaoke situation.
Examples:
Nirvana. We all want to think that we know and/or like this band. The reality is that most of their songs involve droning towards a chorus of indifferent lyrical fidelity that sounded better when the late Kurt Cobain mumbled it into a studio mic in early ‘90s Seattle. Leave Nirvana alone, and your karaoke box will attain something closer to said Buddhist ideal.
Oasis. Chances are that anyone reading this is not English. If you are English, please make sure that your musical dignity can survive an on-record session of Oasis singing. If you are not English, please do not even attempt these songs. Whatever charming lower-class depth was achieved by the brothers Gallagher will be lost on you, child of Uncle Sam.
Sir Mixalot’s “Baby Got Back”. This is a prime example of a song that really has no viable chorus. If you haven’t memorized the lyrics (screens are no help when the pace is as fast as rap) and timing of this song, you will fail spectacularly. It doesn’t matter how hard your cohorts laughed when you proclaimed, bold as brass, that you do in fact “like big butts”, without word of a lie.
There are many more individual song examples that are pure chorus, with verses mumbled or otherwise bluffed by karaoke-goers the world over. Feel free to contribute a comment commemorating your own disasters! For my part, I will say that Michael Jackson is a performer worthy of all due admiration, particularly post-mortem, and I have nothing but the greatest of respect for his ability to actually reach the chorus of his own songs with some semblance of dignity remaining.
Next time on Karaoke Mistakes: the unnerving phenomenon of “Too Long; Didn’t Finish”.
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My first major karaoke mistake was Whiter Shade of Pale. This mistake happens when you're flipping through the song book and spot something you love that you haven't heard in awhile, and you forget to ask yourself, do I know any of the words besides the chorus?
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on all examples except for Baby Got Back even though I agree the chorus itself is weak (except for the nice LA face with an Oakland booty that comes in mid-song.) Thanks to a college road trip from Athens, Georgia to Nashville where my friends and I were 100% committed to learning every line, I now know and will never forget every line. I've also discovered many American girls have eerily similar stories and are therefore also able to recite the entire thing.
-Val
I made the mistake of doing Sweet Caroline well before I knew the verses. Everyone loves to chime in with the "BAAHH BAHH BAAHHHH" and "SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD!!," (especially BoSox fans). I thought this could carry me through, but I was dead wrong.
ReplyDeleteAnother rough one-- Hall & Oats "You Make My Dreams Come True." The stilted, staccato-like lyrics are impossible to keep up with, unless you've had it memorized since the 80s. I did this one last summer at SingSing. Never again.
Speaking of Hall Oates, I've experienced "Maneater" fall into this category of foible. Also, & this one you should cue up anyway because the saxophone interlude is so sleepwalk dreamy before cathartic chorus, but "Careless Whisper," poses a verse pacing issue. I learned this in earnest at a Haiti benefit recently during which Ted Leo did live karaoke with laypeople as an auction item (weird, yes) & he too got so excited for this song & struggled with speeding up the tune & getting caught off guard by the buildup in the non-chorus parts. "Mrs. Robinson" is generally a flat roke song that people oddly cue up with a lot of hope. Some of you might have special things to say about Art Garfunkel so fine go ahead put it in. But personally I get a little depressed listening to folks render a dronie-talkie version til chorus. Listen to everything all contributors in this post & til the end of time warn about regarding rap. But accordingly, the rewards for rapping all lyrics in tact (especially if you are like a really shy white dude or girl) are HUGE. Marshall Mathers in particular is going to be too fast for newcomers or mere fans - think hard about what you know besides the the "mom's spaghetti" line & the "OP! theygoesgravity" bits.
ReplyDeleteEnough for now, but thanks for great talking points, Patrick of Nintendo & Nicole of Boston.
-Gayathri
“…thanks for great talking points, Patrick of Nintendo & Nicole of Boston.”
ReplyDeleteI like how Nintendo is used in place of an actual physical location when referring to me. So much more mysterious!
Also, I was seriously crazy drunk when I wrote this post. I had been to the gym and then went for Apfelwein (delicious German cider) with some colleagues. Maybe the workout sharpened the edge of the booze but I got way-stead. Stumbled home, poured a gin & tonic and wrote this at about 02:00. I hope it makes sense. This is why I shouldn’t do things.
Patrick, I've seen your Nintendo business card & held my heart for a sec. Und if Apfelwein ist responsible fur this post, drinken sie up! Danke again!! -G
ReplyDeleteHa! I worshipped it too for a second when I saw it. Then I flipped it over and reworshipped the Japanese side.
ReplyDelete