Two girls. Two mics. By Artist. By Title.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Can't Get You Outta My Head

There's a surefire sign that you are burgeoning or recovering roker: There's a song you can't get outta your head, you're lipsyncing the words while your stuck at your desk, switching your shoulders in rhythm to lyrics you half-remember, but the tune & bass beat is in your blood. For regular rokers who live in New York without pop radio repeats in the car, these songs usually get in our head from an overheard neighboring tween on the train, a passing commercial for an MTV award show or adolescent dramedy on the CW or Disney, & last but not least our most frequented bodegas or supermarkets. I was thrilled to find that the Bravo supermarket in Astoria near where I work has a veritable master roke set list playing as their grocery score. Each time I run over there for an identical cheese sandwich on a Portuguese roll that prices unpredictably from $1.75-$3.50, the one thing I can count on is that I will get a chance to dose on something rokeworthy from Beyonce to Crowded House, & there have been two recent fortuitous times when I was at the checkout aisle with co-workers while Rhianna's Please Don't Stop the Music knowingly nodded us out the door.

From now on, when you feel the song start to stick, whether it's something you "like," or would endorse as part of your regular publicly shared oeuvre, don't resist. Write it down & maybe even casually pre-search it's roke number in the online directories for your favorite songhouse. It's like a swimmer's ear subtly nagging with a drop of inspiration that may develop into a serious roke infection. Don't leave it locked in your heart...

-G

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Karaoke Therapy in Hiroshima

When I lived in Japan, my visit to Hiroshima was one of the most horrific and humbling experiences of my life. My friends and I were immediately struck by how well-planned the city was. The memorial peace park was expansive, beautiful, and green, three extremely rare qualities in a country that covers its 1/5 of non-mountainous land with as much concrete as possible. I felt sick thinking this place is gorgeous because it was wiped clean not so long ago, and people gave some careful thought on how to rebuild it.

After hours of soaking in the tragedy inside the museum - from the life size diorama of skin melting off of mothers to the narratives of drinking black rain to survive, we ventured through the sculpted green lawns sprinkled with bronze statues of people hugging in desperation, an eternal flame, and strings of colorful and delicate paper cranes swaying gently in the breeze. Despite the beauty and overwhelming symbol of peace, I still felt like a hollow shell that could not be filled. I thought, what should I do? Cry? Go back to the hotel and sit alone all night, too depressed to go outside?

Then, karaoke happened. We went into the downtown shopping area and discovered a Hello Kitty themed-karaoke place. It was perfect. The gift shop (Yes, it had a gift shop) had towels, stationery, and dolls of Hello Kitty rocking the mike. Our room had a giant mural of Hello Kitties dressed as other animals - the bull was my favorite. The window in the door was shaped like a Hello Kitty head. All of the emotion I needed to let out flowed from song to song and by the end of the night I realized the purpose of the trip: I am so God damn lucky and happy to be alive.

-V

Friday, March 19, 2010

GUEST MIC: Karaoke Mistakes [No. 1]

by Patrick S., historic co-roker of Val in Japan & employee of Nintendo.

Karaoke is an art form, and art is the pursuit of perfection within a framework of accepted limitations. Van Gogh could but rail against the definition of his brush-strokes. Beethoven was limited to the range of melody accepted by the human ear. So, too, will your karaoke sessions rub up against the inevitable wall that defines all artists.

I propose to reflect on my own mistakes, that you might learn from them and achieve something close to karaoke perfection. Some might call this effort noble. I merely wish to stand amongst you brave ‘rokers and say: “I sang. I drank. I passed the mic, and I entered the numbers. And I never looked back.”

Karaoke Mistake No. 1: “Nice Chorus, Shame About the Verse”

Beware of songs that you think you know, but really you know as well as the next club- or bar-goer. These are the numbers on the playing of which, everyone rushes to fill the dance floor or, or everyone chimes in on at a bar, but really, no one knows any lyrics except for the chorus. Especially after the few drinks that are standard in a karaoke situation.

Examples:

Nirvana. We all want to think that we know and/or like this band. The reality is that most of their songs involve droning towards a chorus of indifferent lyrical fidelity that sounded better when the late Kurt Cobain mumbled it into a studio mic in early ‘90s Seattle. Leave Nirvana alone, and your karaoke box will attain something closer to said Buddhist ideal.

Oasis. Chances are that anyone reading this is not English. If you are English, please make sure that your musical dignity can survive an on-record session of Oasis singing. If you are not English, please do not even attempt these songs. Whatever charming lower-class depth was achieved by the brothers Gallagher will be lost on you, child of Uncle Sam.

Sir Mixalot’s “Baby Got Back”. This is a prime example of a song that really has no viable chorus. If you haven’t memorized the lyrics (screens are no help when the pace is as fast as rap) and timing of this song, you will fail spectacularly. It doesn’t matter how hard your cohorts laughed when you proclaimed, bold as brass, that you do in fact “like big butts”, without word of a lie.

There are many more individual song examples that are pure chorus, with verses mumbled or otherwise bluffed by karaoke-goers the world over. Feel free to contribute a comment commemorating your own disasters! For my part, I will say that Michael Jackson is a performer worthy of all due admiration, particularly post-mortem, and I have nothing but the greatest of respect for his ability to actually reach the chorus of his own songs with some semblance of dignity remaining.

Next time on Karaoke Mistakes: the unnerving phenomenon of “Too Long; Didn’t Finish”.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

No choice your voice will take you there



Like A Prayer, Madonna, 1988.

The ultimate 'roke song, for reasons not limited to & actually somewhat beside its merits as an ultimate pop song. I would like to live in a world where this song replaces "Happy Birthday" when sung to the most top quality human beings. The universally known Madonna-ness & gospel qualities of this song make the finale group sing experience natural & joyful & commemorative every time. For best results, honor the beginning with a poised pass the mic & intro into "feels... like.... HOme." Let the chorus simmer for which ever core singers are feeling it, don't jump the gun on echoes like "I'll! take-you-theh!-ere," add desperate prayer-like dramatics to accompany the verses that mention God, & own the lyric mishaps that happen around the "muse-to-me" line. By the end, it's not unlike a band of shameless angels sighing in unison, as you see here.

This video features Val & several other core roke partners in a typical finale in Room 13 at Duet 48 during visit of her friend Danielle. Out-of-town guests are generally great roke company & can awaken us to the rare gift of private room roke houses in NYC. Notice that the lyric screen & the mics are mere accessories here. What results at this point is an awkward-glorious share circle of private enjoyment. Clapping, closing affections, half-thought out dance moves, use of alcoholic beverage as faux-mic, two leaning mouths on one mic - all typical.

Finale from Danielle Ashby on Vimeo.


-G

Monday, March 15, 2010

Singing Moments of gold / Flashes of light



Here is an example of a standard, lyrics-only 'roke screen, for an ideal symphonious anthem, It's All Coming Back to Me Now by French-Canadian overexpressive diva, Mlle Celine Dion. Dion is the perfect artist to cue up to unveil some crowd guilty lyric knowledge, & her verses repeat & retard in a way that you pretend you only join because you can't beat.

Chartbusters is a logo you'll come to know & love, with the serious tagline "We Keep America Singing" scrolling over a staff of white on blue. The fluorescent low-fi graphic video palette is key to the accessible 'roke mood. A rival 'roke company called Sunfly features an animated bee/fly leaning backwards to demonstrate the no-holds-barred singathon attitude. Occasionally a track will assign your performance a random score, usually a number between screens from 86-99 that appears - but don't worry to our extensive knowledge, this is a completely arbitrarily derived statistic of your lyric-to-tune output. These machines are not sophisticated video games & there will never be a dog laughing at your misfires a la Duck Hunt or any other potential threats to your self-esteem.

Watch the Dion video & note some loosely useful facts on the intro screen (eg. 4 bar intro, in the key of, in the style of) that is for most humans like us who have no idea about music usually time used to make sure the mic is in the hands of the person who cued it up. You'll know immediately if you've picked a crowd pleaser, but there are also major rewards & Cinderella stories of an unknown song brought to life by soul & commitment so don't lose hope if you don't get a strong opening response. See here the four dots that fade in meter to prepare you to dive in to the "Therewerenightswhenthewind was SO. cold..." Just TRY listening to this video with the sostenuto piano pedal & backup echo of "foh-reh-vah," & the rising tambourine without joining in on a lyric or 100. YOU CAN'T. If this song married that Meatloaf one with the chandelier video they might birth The Most Epic Roke Song Of All Time. Ok, but back to instructions: should be self evident. Let your voice glide over the words as they peel away & love every minute of it. We'll get to other screen forms & song examples as we blog on.

-G

Kara-rookie, Beginner tips from Val

So many people are uncomfortable at the idea of 'roking. I used to be, but now it's tough to remember exactly why. A guy told me recently one of his friends found something in his coat pocket and commented, "Oh this is embarrassing." He nervously replied, "Is it a condom?" Nope. It was a karaoke point card from Duet 48.

I've figured out how most people have eased into being okay with the vulnerability of singing in front of others:

1. Go to a Japanese-style karaoke place where they have private rooms for just you and your gang. It's like renting a livingroom for a few hours complete with a nice TV, sound system, couches, coffee tables, and a phone on the wall to order drinks to the room. We'll publish more extensive reviews of our most commonly accessed four tops: Duet 35, Duet 48, Karaoke 1-7, & Sing Sing.

2. Go with friends who you know will not seriously judge you - mild teasing is OK & encouraged.

3. Sing along with the group songs commonly entered such as Don't Stop Believin', Bohemian Rhapsody, and Like a Prayer. More on these rookie group songs & their benefits & aggravances later.

4. Have a couple of drinks, but not too many.

5. Sing a duet with someone & act mostly as backup or participate in chorus.

By the end of the night, you'll be rocking your own solos and realizing this is the singing-in-the-car substitute you've been looking for ever since you left college and sold your mom's old Honda to move to NYC. Oh yeah, and it's a dance party too.

-V

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Roke on

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."
-Maya Angelou, on the subject of karaoke, not civil rights.
~
Think back to before you trained yourself to bob gently and hum quietly with your paper thin iPod to the precious bands on your censored Facebook favorites lists. When you lived in a town with three identical mainstream pop stations that scored your trips to the drugstore with the click of the blinker keeping your tempo to an indulgent Top 40 belt out. When you joined the grade school choir even though you had to plug one ear to drown the two all-stars who could harmonize, because that embarrassing syncopation styling you wanted to try copying from a pop star could get covered up in the crowd. You didn't worship the nuances of Bob Dylan's timbre, & you didn't need Rock Band or the kids from Glee or American Idol audition outtakes to pose as guilty pleasures to remind you that good-bad songs & bad-good singing belong to everyone.

Chances are you had a favorite song before you had your first tooth. Watch awkward loving families with their infants & a pop song. There's beautiful proof that singing & dancing are innately & universally fun, & the rest is learned. There are professionals & raw talented virtuosos performing as chefs, lawyers, authors...but you don't cook for your family, argue with your boss, write emails to your friends self-consciously concerned with rivaling those craftspeople. Tonedeaf, shy, low on iTunes, clueless on lyrics, re-living the glory of your lost high school musical theatre days, afraid to impersonate, inclined to yell, bad mood, too drunk, not drunk enough - we've heard you all say you "can't sing" [well]. It doesn't change the fact that deep down you want to, & therefore you should. We (Valerie & Gayathri) most unabashedly, enthusiastically, & hyper-frequently do. Made possible by New York City & the several institutions that house this non-art form of karaoke, that we affectionately call 'roke. This blog is about the benefits, pitfalls, triumphs, lessons of those experiences. We hope you enjoy what we have to impart.

Welcome to Empty Orchestra. We'll leave the mic on for you.